I, regularly, get lots of catalogs in the mail. Most of them are dog related because I’m a dog groomer. (Have I mentioned that before?)
Anyway, a lot of these catalogs sell grooming and pet supplies, but one of them has pretty up-scaled stuff like designer crates and beds, dog themed artwork and gifts. Stuff that is way more expensive than I can afford or justify buying, but I do enjoy looking through it.
Well, this particular catalog arrived in my mailbox today, so I started thumbing through it, when I came across a t-shirt with a truly funny saying.
“Your dog doesn’t know sit!”
Really! That’s what it said. “I shih tzu not!”
Seriously, I love puns, and dog related ones are the best. I don’t know if I would want either of those sayings on a shirt, but they would definitely make great bumper stickers. I would so buy that!
Actually, as far as dog related puns go, those are really good, but the best one I ever saw was years ago at a dog show. It really was a bumper sticker, and, to this day, I regret not buying it because it was the best, and I have never seen it since. I will buy it, in a heartbeat, if I ever see it again.
Now, before I tell you what it says, I have to add a little disclaimer. It uses a phrase that is regularly heard at ring-side because it is actually an official award, but is considered quite vulgar outside of the dog show world. So, the pun is somewhat edgy, but that’s why I like it so much.
Are you ready? Ok. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
“Winners Bitch, and losers do too.”
There you have it. I know. I have a rather weird and dry sense of humor that I am sure has just shocked a number of people. Believe me, I wondered if I should post something like this, but the reason I’m doing this is to express myself. If I can’t be totally honest, then there is no point to this.
I have a lot more going on inside my head than I usually show. I tend to be very private about my thoughts and careful about my words. This approach has worked for me for years because I am very shy and insecure. In today’s medical lingo, I suffer from “social anxiety disorder,” but then Dan became ill, and everything changed. I changed….I had to. I had to be bold enough to speak for him, and somehow, in the course of learning to say what needed to be said, I gained something I never thought I would have. Confidence. Ironically, that’s the very thing Dan always tried to foster in me. I wish he could see the wife…the woman I have become. I hope he would be proud.